Radical Honesty - I'm not radical enough for this!

A friend recently told me they were practising 'radical honesty', I didn't bother asking what that was and so just made the assumption that it meant telling the truth all the time...sounds kinda fun, huh? It seems a little bit like an extension of my philosophy of 'I'm not doing anything I don't want to' or 'if I'm not having fun I just leave'. So because it sounded like a fun way of operating, I checked it out online.

Wikipedia tells me that radical honesty is:

Radical Honesty is a technique and self-improvement program developed by Dr. Brad Blanton. The program asserts that lying is the primary source of modern human stress, and that practitioners will become happier by being more honest, even about painful or taboo subjects. Blanton claims this form of honesty can help all human relationships since it "creates an intimacy not possible if you are hiding something for the sake of someone's feelings."

The Radical Honesty technique includes having practitioners state their feelings bluntly, directly and in ways typically considered impolite. For example, "I'm disgusted with you for X" where X is a statement of objective observation about the person towards whom the comment is being directed. People who practice Radical Honesty employ a collection of techniques to shift them out of acceptable norms of "white lying" for the purpose of having a more truthful relationship with themselves and others.

 Meh, that doesn't sound too hard, right? I like the sound of getting to say what I'm thinking and having stuff work out well because of it, although I'm struggling to see how telling someone they are dull and painful to be around would help create intimacy in the relationship, but it might be worth a crack.

A little further reading revealed a ripper of an article from Esquire.com (I only read it for the articles), which you can read here I Think You're Fat. It's pretty long, but I thought it was an awesome read. While the article proved to that there is no way I've got the guts to try this thing properly, it highlighted to me that several of the people I like the most already seem to operate along the lines of radical honesty with pretty damn good results. Perhaps there is something to this whole thing, if you're brave enough to try it - fortune favours the radically honest.

What if there's more than one answer?

I've spent a lot of time and energy worrying what to do with my life and why it "isn't happening" over the past few years. When I finally accepted that there wasn't going to be a bolt from the blue answer to what career would make turn me into one of those sickeningly happy people who get paid to do what they love, somehow I decided that I should channel my life's energy into becoming a wife and a mother....hmmm.

Thankfully, after a a few months of failing at this rather sketchy solution to addressing my life's purpose its finally becoming clear to me that for me there isn't just one purpose. I wasn't put on this earth to become a forensic accountant, pastry chef or supermodel, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't put on this earth just to be a wife and mother, although I'd still like to do those things eventually.

Instead of frustratingly trying to specialise and find the one niche that would satisfy all of my needs, I'm going to try to diversify. I like the idea of having several purposes, or projects on the go which all bring different things to the table. I'm not quite sure where this train of thought will lead, but just thinking it has made me feel lighter and free-er already. It turns out that the idea of having one true purpose has been making poor little commitment-phobic me quite claustrophobic.

Stuff that is making me feel grown up

  • Wearing pants and a shirt to work today - I look like a man, but at least I look like a professional man.
  • Walking to and from work
  • Reading industry related articles in my spare time
  • Doing lots of cooking in advance (some of it is even quite tasty)
  • Going to a bar in jeans and a quite demure top (and giggling at the girls in skimpy dresses and lots of makeup)
  • Getting up early and cleaning the house
  • Gardening...the plants are still alive, although looking a little wussy.
  • Opening a first home savers account (although it has no money in it)
  • Deciding to use the money I would spend on Spring Carnival to kick start my first home savers account.

Stuff that is reminding me I'm not very grown up:
  • You don't really think I'm stupid enough to put that in writing do you?

Gardening - Deceptively Easy

For once I actually fulfilled one of my resolutions - I spent this weekend gardening. It was fun, reasonably simple and the plants are still looking like they might live...at least for a few days.

Our trip to Bunnings
Lots of chilli plants
Some of my herbs...(they didn't look this sad until I drowned them with my watering can)
The 'shrubbery'...I assume they'll grow and it won't look so dirty soon.

My Name is Heather and I'm a Collector.

I've always been a collector, as long as I can remember I've always like to acquire things - lots of things, lots of similar things. I've collected stamps, coins, rocks, beads, pony books, ponies, shoes, perfumes, hats, DVDs, bottles of spirits...in fact I seem to think that pretty much everything that you can get one of is better if you get lots of it.

I am really scared of flimsy stairs...and exercise

I'm not scared of many things, but stairs I can see through absolutely terrify me. This can be a problem in Hobart where most of the retail stores have horrible old school scary stairs that you can see through.

My People

There are a lot of people in my life, friends, family, colleagues, my shoe man, my personal trainer, the good breakfast guy....well you get the picture. Not all of them are close to me, but they all make up the human landscape of my life.

Spring has sprung

Oh no, hang on - that's Coolangatta (where I was basking in the sun last week)

30 Days Has September...

I've always wanted to take part in Movember, but lacking the ability to grow a mo has made this difficult.

Life is Pretty Peachy

I dunno about you, but life is very sweet for me at the moment. I've had some upheaval in the last month or so, but it looks like that's all out of the way and I've been able to start living the life I love again.

The Quiet Voice

I've been thinking about the loud voice/quiet voice concept a fair bit lately, it seems to be very relevant at this point in my life.

Food for Thought....

Well, as it turns out, brightening the day of everyone I interacted with was rather a big challenge - I did pretty well until about 2pm and then it all went horribly downhill. I got tired and cranky and wanted the world to leave me alone and seeing as that wasn't going to happen, I snuck out to the hot chocolate and dutch pancake stall which is currently set up out the front of the office for a nice chocolatey, pancakey, sugary dose of yummy-ness.

Wowee - what a busy week!

Well, just in case I haven't told you (repeatedly), I moved house over the weekend, and I'm loving my new place! Although it's a little full of boxes at the moment and I'm still struggling to find things I know I packed at the other end, I already feel so relaxed and at home. I'll post some photos as soon as it stops looking like a storage facility!

The other thing that's been keeping me busy at the moment is my new project - The Inspired Assistant. Its a new blog aimed at PAs/EAs & Admin Assistants and it's been giving me lots to think about! The idea is that it will become not only a reference site, but also a forum for collaborative problem sharing. It still needs a bit of a 'polish' and some more content, but I'm really happy with where its at right now.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to, and I'm really looking forward to settling back into my routine - I haven't been to the gym for 2 weeks!